"Will you respect my choices, even if they weren't the ones you would make?"
The answer for me will always be a YES.
As time has gone on, my parenting choices have evolved. Sometimes because of fact based information, sometimes after having certain experiences, sometimes after seeing how one of children reacted to that choice, and most times, because my gut told me so.
When someone is making a decision about their pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum period, and their children, I don't give my opinion. When asked a direct question, I will provide fact based information and articles whenever possible.
If I am asked about a hot button topic (the most common questions!) in this crazy world of parenthood, I provide evidence to support both sides of the argument. A person will read or hear something that triggers something in them, that helps them to make that final decision. I have to trust their gut instincts in the same way that I trusted mine for my family.
I often will not share the choices that I made either. What I decided has nothing to do with my clients and what they decide has nothing to do with anyone else.
My role as a doula, is to advocate for clients and help clients advocate for themselves. The definition of an advocate is "one who defends or maintains a proposal". If I chose to disagree with a clients choice, I've turned my back on my main purpose.
Who wants a doula that's going to do that? Not me and hopefully not you.